Amusing review in the Times

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Flossie
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Amusing review in the Times

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Remember the bathtub scene in Fatal Attraction where you think Glenn Close is dead but then she pops up again even more crazed than before? Well, if you’re no fan of Celebrity Big Brother and accidentally flicked on to Channel 5 last night, you possibly felt like Michael Douglas trapped in that bathroom. We had been told the beast was dead and yet, lo, here it was risen again, large as life but with even more stupid hair.

Yes, Celebrity Big Brother was back, revived by Richard Desmond and carried on a stretcher to Channel 5 where he hopes he will pump life back into its flagging ratings. The old theme tune and Geordie narrator were intact but there was no Davina McCall.

Davina has gone to shout elsewhere. Instead we had Brian Dowling, a former Big Brother contestant, dressed in a headmaster’s suit and in fact doing a very good, occasionally witty, job as he introduced the roll call of “celebrities”. Now, contain your excitement because on last night’s evidence, I doubt this will be a “George Galloway” year. There had been rumours of Pamela Anderson but instead we got another former Baywatch babe, Pamela Bach-Hasselhoff, which was a bit like expecting Elvis but getting Shakin’ Stevens. You may not actually recognise a goodly proportion of the housemates (Bobby Sabel and Lucien Laviscount anyone?) Indeed it is a sobering moment when the top billing in any TV show goes to Jedward.

But, you know what, there might just be enough for this to work. Sally Bercow, the wife of the Commons’ Speaker, flounced in sharp as a tack, and like a woman on a mission to stir. She revealed that her husband was “not exactly chuffed” that she was taking part. Amy Childs, a star of The Only Way is Essex, hinted that she may have brought her vajazzle kit along. My money’s on Bercow’s down-belows getting a makeover before you can say “order” and Sabel, a ridiculously handsome model, being offered a penazzle (you’ll have to Google it). The producers are clearly hoping for a hair-off between Jedward, who revealed that they use a can of hairspray a day on their quiffs, and Darryn Lyons who entered the house with a red mohican and a hair extension fashioned from his parrot’s feathers. They should know now: this will be very boring.

Kerry Katona was first in the house. She proceeded to heavy-breathe like someone on a phone-sex line before hitting the champagne to calm her nerves. Meanwhile the actress Tara Reid endlessly repeated one of the dullest anecdotes I’ve ever heard about her having difficulty opening the house door. Let it go, love, eh?

With Mr Desmond’s fearsome reputation for cost-cutting, some of us feared that this might be the Netto version of Big Brother, presented from a disused TJ Hughes warehouse and furnished from a skip. But money has clearly been spent and there is potential for comedy. Dowling has less of McCall’s gush and more bitchiness which is welcome. The big question is — can anybody be bothered watching? Possibly not. But with the world news so grim, Mr Desmond’s best hope is that we’ll want something shallow to give us blessed light relief.
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Post by Flossie »

And ConservativeHome are getting agitated about the antics of Mrs Speaker and seem to think her husband might get evicted from his job.

http://conservativehome.blogs.com/theto ... econd.html
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Post by Anna »

Flossie wrote:And ConservativeHome are getting agitated about the antics of Mrs Speaker and seem to think her husband might get evicted from his job.

http://conservativehome.blogs.com/theto ... econd.html
She is the most interesting contestant so far as I'm concerned. At first I thought her disregard for form was refreshing - but I thought that only briefly! I don't know if her responses to Brian on entering the house last night were designed to make her a more interesting contestant or whether they genuinely represent how she is. She seems to have some kind of rebellion going on - not the politically directed kind but more like a disruptive child who wants attention or who hasn't been socialised adequately. She seems to get pleasure from stirring things up and shocking people. Still, she's energetic and bright (unlike the Essex woman) so might well be interesting to watch.

I love Paul Goodwin's expression "the war-of-the-roses-long resentments about the legitimacy or otherwise of his election" in respect of her husband. :D
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Post by Anna »

I agree with the Times review by the way. :D

I didn't find Brian Dowling that satisfactory a presenter. I think his style is more suited the intimate confines of a studio. It needs a big personality to present outside to a large crowd with all the loud music, big screen and fireworks and whilst I thought he was really good in both the BB's in which he participated, I didn't realise until now that she's gone, how well and how confidently Davina filled the role.

It could be of course that Brian was nervous for the first show and will relax into the role. We'll have to see. He did look a tad amateur compared to Davina however. And his suit! I assume a jacket that looks too small is currently right on trend, but it just made his bottom stick out at the back. You'd never get Davina wearing something that highlighted her less than flattering features!

I agree entirely about the calibre of the 'celebrities' and having been led to expect Pamela Anderson and then presented with someone few people in the UK have heard of.
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Post by Flossie »

I agree with your analysis of Sally Bercow, which reflects the consensus I think. She is desperate to get into politics as an MP and she thinks that raising her profile, in whatever sphere, is the way to do it. She is an attention-seeker naturally, and her desperate desire for a career in left wing politics drives her innate attention-seeking to further extremes.

But I agree with you, she is the most interesting contestant, this follows from her being intelligent, articulate, desperate and her intention of using BB as a vehicle for politcial advancement. Her desire to use CBB to assist with her ambitions and the potential politcial ramifications of her perforamnce in the house, makes her story the most dramatic of all the housemates.
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Post by Flossie »

Brian Dowling did appear a bit amateurish, and he seemed to be kitted out for a sales meeting rather than a showbiz event in a suit that was way too small.

His obsession with the trivial has always annoyed me, and my annoyance with him continues, but he did manage the odd worthwhile quip. 6/10 for his performance.
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