Noirin rebuffs Marcus

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Flossie
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Noirin rebuffs Marcus

Post by Flossie » Thu Jul 16, 2009 9:56 am

On last night's highlights Noirin made her position crystal clear with regard to Marcus' advances. She said in a forceful manner they made her feel uncomfortable and she didn't want them or anything resembling a compliment.

As usual she delivered the rebuff firmly but fairly and poor Marcus was reduced to floundering, although there have been reports he did quite annoyed and demanded some sort of acceptance.

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Steffi
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Post by Steffi » Thu Jul 16, 2009 10:37 am

Yes. The reports I read made him sound like a deranged beast that had burst free of some chains in a dungeon. Some people let their imaginations just take over completely. This isn't Walt Disney.

I thought he looked a bit hurt and confused. It's hard for him to understand how making compliments should upset her because his aim is to make her like him more and he obviously feels that he is following the correct rules of "wooing" somebody so can't fully comprehend her feelings about it so she has to be firm.

If Noirin liked Marcus too, she would respond positively to his techniques. It's only because she doesn't that he is failing.

(According to a scientific report by the way, British men are the most unromantic in the entire world, possibly universe, though Marcus wouldn't fall into that category because he is making a heroic effort here, but sadly with a woman who doesn't feel the same way back).

If a man keeps complimenting a woman who has already drawn the line many times, it just gets wearing. The compliments are seen as references to a different sort of relationship, one which the woman does not want. Instead of being taken and forgotten the woman wants to bat the compliments away as if she receives them, she feels as though she owes something in return or that by receiving them she is just allowing him to think he is "getting somewhere". Sorry, I can't think of better ways to describe this...
Noirin must feel that each compliment represents a gift so if she takes them all, she must either do something in return or else it looks as though the gifts have just been flung aside and she does NOT want to hurt Marcus. She likes him.
I've read a lot of guff written by women who seem to expect her to yell in his face or be aggressive or something. Well, not all women are like that! It goes against the grain. A woman's words should be enough.

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Post by Flossie » Thu Jul 16, 2009 10:57 am

Absolutely correct Steffi and well described.

As you say, if she accepts the compliments with pleasure not only will he be encouraged to pursue her further and make further compliments, she is in some way beholden to him for providing her with that gift of pleasure.

It must be very emotionally wearing for her to keep fending him off and now she has decided she is worn down and can't put up the thanful facade. She is suffering in this interactions becaise her deepest emotions are being engaged because she is a senstive and caring girl and she likes Marcus. As you say she is caught between hurting herself and hurting him, if she politely accommodates Marcus's advances she has feelings of guilt and being disingenuous and if she rebuffs him she feels guilty of hurting his sensitive feelings with regard to her. It was a real dilemma which she would appear to have resolved now.
Last edited by Flossie on Thu Jul 16, 2009 11:34 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Steffi
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Post by Steffi » Thu Jul 16, 2009 11:10 am

It is because she is not some sort of haughty ice-queen or bitch that she is unable to just accept the compliments and then re buff him without feeling. She is sensitive, as you say, to the emotions of others and compassionate.

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